The midas touch!

“I was, I remember, I waited, and..........,” she sighed “....and what .......oblivion?”...I said...she turned and smiled, “no ....I am....” Her words left me questioning and I added, “Sorry, I couldn’t get you…”

“It feels as if it’s an eternal, comfortable halt of time, an inseparable part of my being and trust me, I am okay with it."

I walked out of the room without a word, with my mind stepping into my subconscious world of reason, all the grief was washed in the flood of her pain. I flashed back to the hours of my ‘hectic’ Sunday morning.

I had woken up with a pile of books over head and rushed for the breakfast leaving my messy cubbyhole as it had been. On the way I measured, as usual, the pros and cons of life- where I had been ditched, where I had went wrong, what the future undertakings would be, blah, blah, blah... and that was the time my cell buzzed. It had been an old friend calling up for a coffee together. I too had become nostalgic. “Fine, CCD at 4, sharp!” I had said. But he interrupted, “No, you come to the hospital dear, we'll walk to the place.” “Okay,” I had agreed and disconnected the call. At 4:03, I walked up the stairs of the medical giant of the city. Ignoring the inevitable truths of life I geared to his chamber but it was then that it happened.

I paused.... took a slender tilt ....and… was spellbound. It was a general ward ...and a divinely charming face… a heavenly smile that drove my steps into the ward. She gave a sweet smile to the nurse but the busy bee took no notice of that ...it seemed rude...anyways.

I flicked through her files and shivers rolled down my spine... Age- 28, Disease- a long biological term I couldn’t pronounce. “Hello!” she said, “I suppose the nurse has left but I can still feel someone’s presence, may I know who that is, please?”

I drew near, she was blind! I took three steps backwards and cleared my throat that had almost choked. “I am sorry, I was just…"

“It is okay, people rarely peek into these grave wards,” she cut in.

“I am getting late my friend must be waiting.”- I was almost about to say this but my lips virtually paralyzed.

There was an obvious inquisitiveness bubbling in me, but her soft words dismantled the guts I had built to uncover her truth. I stood erect as time kept running like water under a bridge. Minutes passed by…

“Are u still here, do u want something?” her voice broke the silence.

My curiosity ruled over my honesty and the truth and I responded, “Actually, I was just on a survey for an interview. May I have one from you?’

“Surely u may.”

“So, I went through your file. For how long have u been admitted here?" My intonation was not continuous and a shiver ruled it.

“4 yrs or so,” she replied.

Soon, her affirmation revealed her past. I could extract from her words that her disease was not as simple as blindness; she was suffering from a slow failure of senses, or better say, of the nervous system, when any nerve of her biological circuit could fail anytime. And 6 failures she had already gone through. One being that of the optical nerve, of course and the other major ones were those of the senses of smell and touch. This further took me out of my so called senses.

But you always have a cell phone to get back to this world of people.

“Hello, where are you? I have been waiting for the last 10 minutes!”

“Later!” was all that I had said before simply disconnecting the call.

“You can leave, actually. I don’t know why people have to lie when the truth is so simple.”

Her words took me by surprise.

“It’s not that only journalists have the right to explore people…and people like me who are research objects for the biggest brains of country are made to be explored.”

I was dumbstruck, but her words cleared the mist of discomfort between us. Finally I summed up enough courage to solve the conundrum for which I had sacrificed my childhood mate's precious call.

“How did this happen, I mean, the first time you ....?”
“It was a conference on green engines in Germany and I was to present papers challenging the ruling green engine… You remember 1.4Ltsi of the giant VW?”

I replied with a nod ....a pause ...and then, “hmmm…”

“It was then. Five minutes before the conference, I couldn’t feel my hold on the papers. That presentation was my Midas’ touch,” she sighed.

“The result of 5 years of sheer hard work! So, I neglected the fatal symptom. Soon I felt as if I hadn’t put on my clothes, a few steps, and I couldn’t feel the reaction of ground and...”

“And what?”

“The rest is all history…history I care for as much as I cared for the history in my secondary textbooks.”

I could see an abstract grief in her crystal black eyes for missing that presentation.

“So touch was the first sense targeted,” I tried to engage her more on her physical discomfort as I found that it was less painful to her.

“No, it was the sense of not feeling those papers in hand. One hole in the can is enough to spill the milk. Once it’s made, rest makes no big difference.”

“You mean your senses hold lesser importance to you? Now that’s not realistic. Sorry to say.”

“Of course, I did not say that. But some things in life, though materialistic, hold great importance. And in these 4 years I have turned more meaningful leaves in life than I did in the years of my Bachelor’s degree! And trust me; losing the sense of touch is a living enlightenment. Although the loss of sight brought a little discomfort, it takes me to my own world of existence, my dimensionless space- a space without photons, without the semi- factual theory of relativity, a world where I don’t have to lie on the fake foundations of axioms to explain my findings…”

She continued with her more meaningful outlook and I listened and listened and listened...

Suddenly she paused, “I feel it’s been a long time. You should leave…”

“But I want to hear more from you,” I protested.

“Thanks a lot for sharing your time. I have never spoken this much in last 4 years, but u should return to your “world of worlds”.”

“It’s hard to believe how a person can sum up her life in just a smile, remembering each big small event…” A nudge from a ward boy brought me back to this “world of worlds” as she had said.

I had a day with reason and the next morning was all the same, except...

“Oh! My wallet,” I said as I remembered that I had left it in her ward, on the table.

I rushed to the hospital and soon stepped into the ward.

“May I have my wallet please? I suppose I left it here?”

She smiled in the air with an indication that I was challenging her failed senses by asking for it. I picked my wallet up from the table and “Hope we meet again” was all that I could conclude with.

She had an unchained pull that wished to say something, but I thought silence was more comfortable.

On my way down the stairs, my ears raised to a conversation-

“What about ward no. 33?”

“I had thought that with 6 senses gone she would die of the mental strain, but after losing her voice last night, she’s still struggling with the wrath of nature...Miraculous!”

With so many strokes in just 24hrs, I had virtually lost my senses...

That proposal was not her Midas’ touch. It was her fight for existence despite that lost sense of touch which was emerging each moment, as a Midas touch for her!

Survivor-the fittest

It was a slow rise of dawn, the dark of night sky was fading into the gradual invasion of morning glow. Apart from the herd, she was here, in solitude bidding goodbye to the florescence of moon. Soon a shadow came over; it was huge covering the vastness of her sky.


He stood tall, a golden brown giant with fiery eyes. On the spur of the moment the world turned upside down for her. They had an eye lock, where the electromagnetic beam of his line of sight was burning her eyes in fear. The axons didn’t respond! Or better say, a brown black female impala with an average built had lost her senses when a South African lion mirrored her.


He took a silent, imposing step ahead. She went numb, frozen, cursing her existence to bear the agony of its monstrous end. Before she would step into the state of mental trauma, his ear piercing roar hit her senses as if iron was being beaten on a giant anvil.


The hit was hard. It stirred her soul to the core. The sudden impact worked as a wake up call. She was no more of a forlorn. Her eyelid raised, and the dark iris penetrated the sight of the beast of prey.
Before he could understand her fortitude, she responded. ……..
With a step to her left and he followed her to his left. The sequence continued and soon both had a 180 degree flip. And it was true in all respects. The exchange was not only in position but also that of psychic hold.
He found the instant valor of the timid creature as something hard to digest. But the mind games still were on…….

A step straight right, he aped him in wrath. Then one straight back, he again followed .now one somewhat tilted to right. He again…………….and …….”aaahhhhh”.
A sharp spine hanging from the wild bush pierced his eye membrane and his built dismantled on the ground in pain.
“Yeah” was the subconscious reaction for her! The instant plan went like clockwork for her. Without wasting a single moment she ran rock hard for her survival.
Within a few minutes, she had left the frightening beast miles back. Her stride was cheerful, and soul thanking the supreme power for all that happened. It happened for good, something that was to be written in the impalian history with the letters of gold.


She stood erect and her head bowed for the almighty” the win is of your existence, for making my morale stand high, for respecting the importance of my being in this world of yours” she thanked.
But Mother Nature has different rules………
A sudden grab form her back clutched her tight. Before she could come to a conclusion. He batted her hard with his front paws, and she hit hard on ground. A blast of sand dimmed her vision. Soon, the mist cleared. It was surely not the same giant. After all, there is no dearth of predators. The dawn was finally overtaken by the first drop of sun.

A massive, fatal dig of his claw and left her at her last gasp.
Was that survival of the fittest?...might be!
Or better say survivor is the fittest. And rest all history..
Nature has firm rules, mind rules over matter, but still matter matters the most. A good omen is not always followed by knock of good time. A moment is momentry whether a win or a loss happiness or sorrow . the continuity of time is discrete and no single fraction of second has impact or relation with other. And why not? After all, It is the uncertainty of life which makes it beautiful, and each moment precious as gold.

PS: the use of he, she and other expressions is just to make the composition humanoid

SnApShOtS!!....

Traveling back to the flashes of life!...my last day at my “alma mater” I remember. Unlike other students, that day I was the happiest person existing on this earth, not very aware of the adieu paid,….or shall I say I was not in senses….as usual…Lost in my own world. A nerd who was happy to get more time to study and focus on the big chase (you know …the big chase 2008)

…..

Rest I all consider, to be a history….history , not glorious or what…but a history…a history of mental ups…..and academical downs…..and downs!

Anyways…Almost a year and a half since then …..today, getting back to senses, I really miss those fights those fellows,….those chants of laughter in d terrace, the crystal eyes of mates…….each with a different plot of future!.....That routine monotonous life of past,today seems sooo divine…..so pure….n sooo free….as if spirit of a social being….unchains itself to dive…deeper into the sea of reason…

…

much water has run under the bridge since then……a bridge lying still, firm, witnessing the running water, the slipping tym…..the bridge of my existence….my being… those two little feet have been grounded so deep somewhere in the roots of kumaoun…that even the most furious typhoon from the deepest of skies cant root it out!...

It drags me…..to the air of laughter…where every mind was so pure……every being was so kind…….

The world still is same, the same people, the same existence….….but somewhere we have changed….the relations …and the identities. And no surprise, new world, new plot, and a new look towards life….a changed face….a changed persona……

Wherever I go whatever I do in my life….i’ll carry shackles of my past with my identity….

Those walks to remember, that love that tender…..when teachers were more of preachers…and we….the disciples!...honestly…the tide of time swept the innocence….the innocence which simply lost in learning the norms of society….

I can now measure the pros and cons…..may be I can read the wit of people…the double meaning of their twisted talks….but lost is that fearless sight, that dived deep into eyes of people….firm, care free…..with a strong belief….”all are good as god”…….

The drift in time can change surroundings….but it surely can't change me…..i was born to set free……to live my part of social life….to share sorrows….to be a a part of laughter,to do my share of work,to shoulder my responsibilities.but not to sacrifice my existence.I don need a soulmate to solve my virtue……a soul is enough to be its mate…..for eternity!

NEVER SAY DIE

yes......"never say die" is d first thing m gonna write about.....
wat i personaaly feel.....sorry believe......
ppl say dreams never cum true......i truly suppot dat......"dreams never come true"...but how do u define a dream.....is it some thing going on mind while sleep....or dat day dreaming stuff....which eats up a young innovative brain.....or an utopian scheme wid no base.....
yes.....if dis way u define a dream()....den it wont ever come true....
but when dreams r practical....logical.....n laid on a sound foundation of determination......dey turn to aims........n aims r born to be achieved..........remember dat....."we shall overcome one day"....
so i concluded......dat if dis is wats a dream
...,,,,,
den its not every one cup of tea to even dream dear!!!........
u need guts!......guts to be against d odds.......to stand alone .......
to take d road less travelled.....
world says dreamers r aimless ppl.....good for nothing....
but do dey knw"nothing happens but first a dream".......
yes i say......darers r diferent.......ppl wid a big identity.......
how many in dis world have guts to kick d adverse situation of lyf??????????.....how many stick to their plans even after facing a gud range of ups n downs.......how many don follow d suit set up by society norms n follow dere own aspirations ......wat dere mind says......how many shed their tears in dark...but still fyt wide awake in light for a new opportunity.........
one amongts a million...!!!!!!or may be even less.....
y not every person in dis world is born wid guts......
more than 1/2 of dis worlds sleeps wid a shattered dream somewhere in ad core of heart.......
1/4 of it dies in finding flaws in dem....their personality, their mistakes.....n their circumstances....dey r born to cut a sorry figure........
n rest r happy wid wat dey have.............sorry dey r not so (happy).....but accept wat dey r served.....coz dey think...dats wat waz 2 be happened........

u fail coz.....u lacked somewhere....u fail again coz u still were not up to d mark......u fail.....agian...n again again........but d biggest achievement in lyf iss.....dat u still stick to it n keep trying......stand up each time u fall.......
ha.....
today in dis mordern, practical n fast world(though m a part of it)......crowd cant shoot for its own aspirations......a desire dey once had......dey say.....life is fast....n dey have to move on......
if u can really move on widout something.....i bet u never had a desire for it even........open ur arms wide into d sky..........who says it doesnt belong to u.......
i literally hate d ppl who change their ways.....dey don had a heart to face d adversities.......
escapitsts dey r.........
y not to give ur subconcious a chance......why not dive deeper into d sky????.........
every one is special......have d guts to face d world.....or die wid a bud of aspiration...which coudnt evr blossom...........!!!!!!............choice is urs!

THE FEAR OF DARK!

People who read it really lykd it....this article(story better say)....is my first contribution to college editorial,....n of coursea damn successful one at d place for which i wrote it actually(goiit).....

..............

not fresh composition however....but i luv it....hope u enjoy!



Life is a sin x function as it goes up so it goes down . that day was too the day of heights. I was extremely elated, positive and confident . my 4 attempts for the highest post for the country had ended in failure , and this was the final one , a year ago I stood against all odds of my life and was determined to crack it this year .
My confidence was being reflected on my parent's faces. My eyes were glittering for success as 4 failures meant to me a big success this time. i was loaded with luck, my 11 year old watch, that black sweater, a long streak of tika and blessings of whole family. I boarded a bus to street no. 7 and then straight to examination hall. Checking all my essentials I flashed back into the past. those days of glory were rolling in front of my eyes . I was famous as a girl of logic at my school, which I approved by getting admission in the top technical university of the country. But, this was the start .i started preparing for exhaustive post of the country , 4 futile attempts had shattered me into pieces. But my family stood as a pillar for me to prop. To me "sky is the limit". I wanted to change the destiny of my country but today my own was hanging in the balance.
Then the approaching steps of the invigilator brought me back to present. O!!! what a paper I can do it in half of the time. I geared up towards the questions. but oh! This is the same question which consumed my whole time last year(the root of all evil)I knew it this time but ??????..
And then my negativity invaded my positivity. The pen was moving just to move. my past overtook my present. I came out of the examination hall ........... blank. last attempt gone !5 years of life .................in vain !! I was shocked to the extent that I could not even cry; I was walking with the crowd but without any aim. From street no. 13 I went into an under ground tunnel. It was dead calm, still as if time had stopped. I too was walking senselessly. I won't go home I decided, I cant face my parents . I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't realized that my mobile phone slipped of my hands. But suddenly, I noticed a flash of light on the walls of tunnel. I Rushed towards that flash instead of picking my mobile up , which was throwing that glittering light on the wall. I had come back to senses. Touching that flash I broke into pieces with a thundering cry!. I rolled my eyes over the surroundings ,it was dark ! all black! and one spot of light was making the difference.
This took me to my world of reason. With tears slowly invading my cheeks, I thought,this dark can only give way to light. Those who live in life only fear of dark! Why is this dark cursed? It shows u the importance of light. Why people avoid this tunnel , not becoz it is uncomfortable to walk here but becoz they fear of dark or actually the darker side of life. Life is different than teacher,A teacher teaches lesson & then keeps the exam.But the life keeps the exam first & then teaches the lesson. (these words r not mine)
Those who don't actually win even after a big loss.
Ok! If life is dragging me back it must be launching me into victory. Now that dead calm meant silence to me becoz my heart was smiling. Always when we lose life seems to come to an end as it was to me but then hope says! one more time. picking my mobile up I rushed to the flight of stairs, to go back home.
My parents were standing with a curve of smile and loads of expectations. I replied with a fake smile. Though no conversation took place but the thoughts were exchanged. I looked into their eyes .those were saying-
"IT DOESEN'T MATTER YOU WON OR LOST WHAT MATTERS IS THAT U ROSE WITH TWICE THE CONFIDENCE WHEN EVER U FALL"
With my head held high o looked into the sky. It looked new , fresh as if it was smiling. Every thing was new to me as I had conquered my fear , the fear of dark!!!!!!!!!!

first stroke

just thinking y m i writing dis ......n dat too at d tym wen i hav got a loooooooooooooooot to study n dat too in a very less tym
newaz......dos hu don get tym tym ....don get it ever......
m writing dis one forrrr......forrr me , n for my madness of making a hard copy of watever strikes my mind .....after all u gotta store ur stuff at a single place.....
besides, my some of d frnz wanted dis to be done......n how could i forget my roomie dear.....kimz,....hu waz abt 2 create d one for me.....if i don.....
so here is it!!!!.....
have a looooooot to put up here!......how n ven......donno just gonna write watever strikes my mind first.......don miind if its rubbish(zeher in my collg lingo)......after all writing well is not everyone's cup of tea......speacilly for a growing kid lyk mee.....
plzz ppl m bad at spelling ......struggling wid dat since kidhood......ohhhh m realling going aimless ryt now........
so shud stop.....
comment discuss, nething ...................dat i lyk.....d new car on road, d recent bean show, force india talks....jee n ur preps......nnnnn.......
d things i really wonder ven m serious(though m rarely serious)......viz.....positivity, guts to move against d odds....psycology of success.....ur aimbitions.....just be free to say.....dat yes"i dare to dream high.....aim high.....work for it"....."NEVER SAY DIE.....